Which street is this???

1. You wake up in the basement of a twenty-something’s apartment with a bruised collar bone and your left shoe has mysteriously gone missing…

2. You spent all your money the night before and you need to take a shower in your new apartment so you can go to work to make some quick cash and go out again that night, but you blew all your move-in funds on shots of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey. Now you’re forced to make due with what you’ve got. You rock a Snuggie as a make-shift shower curtain and hope it works out…

3. You fall asleep (some may refer to it as passing out…) on the “L” and you wind up at O’Hare airport circa 5:45 a.m. Must’ve missed my stop!!! Oops…

4. You get in an unintentional bar brawl at a dive called Frank’s. You get kicked out, and the ugly blonde pygmy aggressor gets banned for life, but hey, at least your co-workers got to watch you kick some ass after the shift… 

5. You get a third job as a bartender just to support your habit. At least this way you can be close to your first love…grain alcohol.

6. You wake up from last night’s bender thinking your liver has given out because you seem to have been bleeding from the mouth in your sleep only to realize that what you may think is some manner of bodily fluid is simply pico de gallo from the burrito you got from El Charro in Logan Square at 4 a.m.

7. You consider beer pong working out…

8. You’re considering having an intervention on yourself: “Mary, your drinking has affected you in the following ways…”

9. You try to sell your blood for money and the free chocolate chip cookie, but your sh*t is so contaminated they gave you the rejection speech from behind the safe confines of a haz-mat suit…

10. Cocaine….