Wow, 1,130 hits on the fat cell phone eating baby named Lei Lei? What are we doing wrong over here at the Chronicle?  Maybe we should start bringing you more articles on being born with a cleft or something. Is that what you want????????????????????????? I, didn’t think so. Here’s today’s wake up…

Nothing is better than a good ass pic from a smoking hot woman or the allure of having two girls at once. So take a mirror, some lingerie, and a smokeshow and what do you get…? A thing I like to call, the photo threesome…

Honey, do you like my one time use panties?

I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to feel the dental floss in my ass or just wear granny panties, so I did both.. Tee Hee.

Hurry up, my ass cheeks need some more air.

And my swimsuit doubles as a Kite boarding sail..

Look bitch, I don’t know what you want with my man, but you betta get ta steppin…

I was lost at sea for three weeks..  I figured, hey, they caught me dinner, why not wear em to the photo shoot..

Bitch, wheres my damn toofbrush…

These are actually notches for each sugar daddy I’ve been with…

We can’t have sex until you take every single chain off and put it neatly on your dresser…

Every time I come over here, this asshole makes me wear his stupid Asian bath robe...

He told me I was his “Trophy Wife” but this isn’t what I had in mind…

You want me to do what with my lip-stick?

Hold on, theres still some left on the mirror…

I wish this god damn bitch would stop following me everywhere I go.. What? No father, I don’t want a mustache ride..

I’d do me…

Oh good,  it’s still there…

And for my next act, I will turn the rest of these panties, red…

Let em say I did a half-assed job taking this shot …

Yo bitch, you better not be talking to me…

I would show you my face, but it doesn’t quite match the rest…