You know giraffes have only seven vertebrae? Seven. The tallest land animal on the planet, with a neck length of up to eight feet has only seven vertebrae. According to scientists, the vertebral column is all ball-and-socket joints! Like seven stacked shoulders!

You’d think, oh a chiropractor’s dream, right? “So many neckbones”. But humans have 33 vertebrae, with nine in the cervical or neck section. Time out. Let me try and wrap my swollen brain around this one. A giraffe with an eight foot neck has fewer vertebrae than within my own humanoid neck?? I mean, these things have got to be a foot in length each!

If they haven’t discs between their vertebrae, then the deterioration concerns may be alleviated, I suppose. But as the ball-and-socket itself are not harbored from wear, is it possible for the gentle giraffe to, I guess, tear a rotator cuff… in his neck?! Seven shoulders stacked atop one another. Or hips! Hips are a ball-and-socket joint. Seven stacked hips from his shoulders to his lips. What a magnificent beast.

How many chiropractors does it take to adjust a giraffe? The answer is all of them. All the chiropractors. They stand on each other’s shoulders until they’re eye level, and then the chiropractor on the top of the stack, he grabs the giraffe by his ossicones and gets to work. Then each chiropractor beneath him wrangles his portion of the neck until the spotted beast is pacified. This seems a most logical spinal manipulation for a creature 18 feet tall.

Since we’re on giraffes, you know their dust-ups consist primarily of neck fighting?! That’s it. Quarrels are played out by slamming necks into one another. Scientists call this phenomenon “necking”. This is not to be confused with the sapien term eluding to tender moments betwixt main squeezes. I tell you what though, if these chiropractors of the great Serengeti haven’t yet figured out how to capitalize on this service, have em keep an eye for these neck fights. What better a reason for an adjustment than an eight foot long neck fight!