So I did a little online research and found that Africa does indeed rank the highest in penis size. I made my own chart.  According to the World Almanac for Penis Sizes, Africa’s average length is 12.2 inches with a girth of 2 inches. Italy was not second, but 4th, because if you stretched out a penis from Ireland it would be the same length and width as an Italian penis. However, Ireland gave us Beer and Italy gave us Cannoli, so by default the Irish are better. Denmark, who obviously put the first chart together in some sort of desperate marketing scheme, thanks Orlando for the insight, ranked 5th with an average penis size of three inches.

Nice try guys, but Africa does in deed rule in the porn industry, the rap industry and the drug game. All due to their humongous penises. And thank God, because if Denmark was the number one, we wouldn’t be chiefin` on  blunts an listening to Lil Wayne, we would be planting sunflowers and mixing chocolate on every street corner in the US right now.