"I should have had a V-8."

Washington Post — Adam Wheeler’s plan to fake his way into and through Harvard University worked for years, prosecutors allege, until he tried to get a university endorsement for a Rhodes Scholarship his senior year. That’s when a professor noticed Wheeler’s writings were nearly identical to those of another professor. The professor dug through Wheeler’s application packet for the Rhodes and Fulbright scholarships and found fabricated recommendations from Harvard professors, a falsified transcript showing perfect grades and a much-too-impressive resume listing books co-authored, lectures given and courses taught, The Harvard Crimson reported. The professor alerted school officials, who began an investigation into Wheeler’s student file. Prosecutors allege Wheeler, now 23, also lied when he applied to Harvard in 2007, claiming to be a transfer student from Massachusetts Institute of Technology with a perfect academic record from Phillips Academy in Andover, the Associated Press reported. Wheeler was a member of the Class of 2010 who transferred to Harvard at the beginning of his sophomore year and became a resident of Kirkland House. An English concentrator, he received a Hoopes Prize in the spring of 2009 for a project that he had completed during his junior year.

Wheeler was arrested on Monday and indicted on 20 offenses, including larceny, identity fraud and pretending to hold a degree. Harvard estimates Wheeler duped them out of $45,000 in financial aid, grants and scholarships. He is scheduled to appear in Middlesex Superior Court Tuesday. Before attending Harvard, Wheeler was a student at Bowdoin College in Maine from 2005-07, but was suspended for academic dishonesty, authorities said.

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"Well then, guess I will have a lot more time to devote to reading..."

Wow, now I have seen it all. I live near and work in Harvard Square. I see all types of people everyday, which makes me think to myself, “How the hell are you in Harvard?” Now I know the answer…this is insane. Dude is facing 20 charges, one is a federal charge for accepting government loans, and his bail hasn’t been set yet. I’m guessing no bail. Would you fuck with Harvard? I wouldn’t. It’s all lawyers!

I’m almost certain that admissions at Harvard is feeling pretty dumb right now. They are gonna send the lynch mob out on this guy. Not only that, very extensive background checks are going to be put into place for scholarships and grants. Christ, the kid applied for a Rhodes Scholarship. Ha! I mean, at most he had two years experience at the college in Maine before being kicked out. How the hell does the guy even have the knowledge to tackle physics, math, or anything like that at a Harvard level? That’s why some are comparing him to the Talented Mr. Ripley.

So I guess this is the end of the line for this young man’s future. I mean, what’s left? Get out of jail in 12 years and write a book I guess. What a story. That’s why this guy shoulda had a V-8. He woulda made it through and coulda had a Harvard English Degree until he decided he wanted to be a Rhode scholar…shoulda, woulda, coulda my friend!

~Chef

pr ma

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