attack of the killer tomatoes

Robert Lerner was driving his daughter to the Redlands early morning on Jan. 28 in what was supposed to be  a simple photo shoot.  While driving by a nearby grove, Lerner’s daughter asked her dad if she could pick a juicy, red tomato.  Since it was just another lovely day in Miami Mr. Lerner decided that there was no harm with a quick stop for a little good old fashioned tomato picking. That’s when it all went horribly wrong. While pulled over by the side of the road a jeep pulled up in front of his car and an enraged lunatic got in Lerner’s face.  Apparently the self-appointed tomato police started screaming profanities and accused Lerner and his young daughter of being thieves.  A fight broke out and Lerner was thrown to the ground in a homicidal rage, leaving him with serious, life altering injuries.  After suffering fractures in his neck and spinal column, Lerner is now living with two titanium plates in the front and back of his damaged neck.  Thats right, he has a broken neck in a fight over a tomato. The attacker is still at large, presumably lurking by nearby orange, apple and mango trees ready to strike out against those that oppose his intense love of fruits.  Police say that he escaped in a blue or green Jeep Wrangler with a flat finish and plastic windows and panels.  He has light colored salt and pepper hair, is between 40-60 years of age, is 5 feet 9 inches tall and weighs about 175 pounds.  This man is being considered extremely dangerous and may be armed with parmesan cheese and oregano in his quest to make the perfect sauce.  Police have set up a high-tech sting operation in effort to catch this menace involving a tomato under a box being held up by a stick with a string attached to it.  So far he has evaded all attempts.