… “Any of various hollow-horned typically gregarious ruminant mammals related to the goat but stockier and lacking a beard in the male; one long domesticated especially for its flesh and wool,” according to professional word-smiths at Merriam.

Stumped? Okay, here’s another one:

… “An animal with a thick wooly coat that is often raised for meat or for its wool and skin,” from again, Webster.

You know what they don’t say about ol’ ovis aries? They don’t say how he’s a natural competitor and a fleet-of-foot racing specimen. You know why? Because he’s a sheep. Sheep are grazers. Sheep are loiterers. Sheep do things like stand around all day, and huddle up, and grow wool. Sheep don’t run fast in any direction… unless there’s a wolf about.

Anyway, in Scotland, on top of playing “curling” and blowing bag pipes, they also race sheep with little toy jockies down the spectator-lined streets. A small town in Scotland had been racing sheep for spectacle for the past few years, when out nowhere… the animal rights activists step in! Scottish animal rights activists for the fair treatment of sheep! They said, No. No way. Not the sheep. The activist group collected an apparent 80,000 signatures to present to the sleepy Scottish town in protest to the inhumane treatment of the local wooly wonders.

That’s a lot of signatures, come to think of it. I mean… 80,000 different people felt that strongly about the sheep’s peril of racing his brethren down the Scottish streets? I know the common sheep doesn’t experience a whole lot of excitement out in the pasture, but come on!

A BBC.com report noted that the protestors were very concerned about, “thousands of people noisily cheering them on (causing) the animals fear and stress.”

So, watch out, I guess… you underground sheep racers, or they’ll shut you down too!