Dear Chef,

Everyone knows about those videos of guys proposing to girls at basketball games and shit… heres this video at a cheerleading nationals last weekend when this guy proposed to his girlfriend. I just cant decide if it’s romantic or not. It’s kind of ballsy to ask a girl in front of thousands of people because A. what if she says no? and B. what if she says yes just because there are a bunch of people and she doesn’t wanna make you look bad? I wanna know what you think.
-alexandra

Look, You wanna know what I think? I think I hate seeing these outlandish fucking proposal videos all over the place. I asked my last girlfriend to marry me in the kitchen after she came out of the bathroom to take a shit. Not exactly how she dreamed it would be, but it did the trick.  Anyway, this is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Only a pompous ass would do this. First of all you can cross out A., she’s not going to say no.  Trust me , this guy’s not an idiot. He’s an ass, but he’s not an idiot. Worst case scenario is B. She says Yes but doesn’t mean it just like a lot of chicks do. Then she takes it back 2 hours later and now all her hot cheerleader friends want to sympathy-bang you.  In other words, it’s a no-lose situation for the dude. Best case is a real Yes, worst case is bang a cheerleader. That’s my take.