Rahm: We’ve got a problem with this guy in Pennsylvania, Joe Sestak, who beat Arlen Spector in the Democrat primary for senator.
Barack: Who?
Rahm: Joe Sestak, he is the retired admiral who ran for and won a seat in congress. Now he just beat Spector and has a pretty good shot at becoming a senator. He is telling everyone we offered him a job to get him to quit the race.
Barack: What’s wrong with that?
Rahm: It’s illegal.
Barack: Not in Chicago.
Rahm: This isn’t Chicago sir, you are the president now.
Barack: Can we get that law repealed?
Rahm: That might not be such a good idea right now sir.
Barack: We have to do something about this Sestak character talking to the press.
Rahm: You mean you want me to send over some of the boys from SEIU to make him disappear.
Barack: No, no,no, if anything happened to him the press might ask some embarrassing questions.
Rahm: I really don’t think we have to worry about the press sir. They believed that you sat for twenty years in Reverend Wright‘s church and never heard anything he said.
Barack: Fox news might cover it, Glenn Beck and all those tea baggers.
Rahm: That’s what I like about working in this place, it’s the sense of honor and décor.
Barack: We need to get our story straight.
Rahm: Let’s float a story about what kind of job we offered this man who was ambitious enough to become an admiral in the navy, a congressman, and now a senator.
Barack: What kind of job could possibly satisfy someone who retired from the navy as an admiral, was elected to congress, and has a good shot at becoming a U.S. senator?
Rahm: I got it, I got it, how about being appointed to an unpaid position on an advisory committee?
Barack: You’re right, an unpaid job on an advisory committee would surely satisfy a man with that level of ambition.
Rahm: Brilliant sir, but we will need some corroboration. Let’s see, who is the most honest man we know, someone who has a reputation for always telling the truth.
Barack: How about Rod Blagojevich?
Rahm: He’s kind of busy right now trying to stay out of prison.
Barack: Oh, wait, I know someone who has a reputation for honesty and has unimpeachable character and is known for always telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Rahm: Who sir?
Barack: Bill Clinton
Rahm: Unimpeachable sir?
Barack: Lets not be too picky.
Rahm: Brilliant choice sir. I know the American people will have to believe it. Certainly our friends in the media will.