The president of the Unites States, Barack Obama, is right now going on tour. He’s penetrating the heart of caucus territory in America. His long, black bus is snaking throughout the mid-west, trying to gain support for his democratic party members and for his likely return thrust at the presidency in 2012. It is very hot throughout the country right now, and therefore unclear why the president chose to travel in a black bus, as opposed to a white, or even a red, white, and blue bus, as in his first campaign tour. Those were the days. I remember my fellow left-wing friends, they were as ecstatic as Mike Tyson and refused to listen to me.

But in any case President Obama is making a big impression today,  in Illinois, at some seed or agricultural factory. The site is not important, it’s the president’s urgent message of Hope that is important. He has been talking about jobs and economic hope, on this reportedly unusual tour.

The first thing which struck me as hilarious was that he was saying how happy he was to be home in Illinois and I just don’t know whether I can trust this claim. I know he served as a state senator in Chicago, and also an organizer. I suppose that counts. But there is some doubt about the precise actual location of his birth, and the documents related to this great and hopeful event. Soon I realized he was standing in front of a wall of pallets.  Recall this speech was made in a “seed factory.” On these pallets was clearly marked the word “Hybrid.” What in all of sacred tarnation is wrong with these people, with this ignorant beast known as American politics? I’m telling you somebody wants us to hate one another, or is at least very dumb on Obama’s travel-team, or strongly approves of genetically hybridized crops. Why would you put a dubious half-breed mulatto President in front of a wall featuring the word “Hybrid,” at a seed factory, and not expect the subconscious to take notice? Not everyone approves of race-mixing in this great country. I’m “mulatto” myself and I can tell you this is true. On the other hand I can tell you that some of our leaders do approve of eternal bickering and division, even among us, the working classes. Still, we have to get to the end of this brief article.

So, Barack Obama, son of a raging , egomaniacal wife-beating alcoholic womanizer, a president who has increased troops stationed in countries unwilling to have them, then began to blab about how great and wonderful America was. He said “There’s nothing wrong with this country.” It was amazing that I heard him after these words, over the sound of my laughter.

If Warren Buffet is suddenly saying we coddle the super-rich, and speculators are profiting from African land during famine, and we are allegedly running opiates to and from Mexico and Afghanistan, and occupying Iraq under very shabby, homicidal conditions, then there are things wrong with America.  Obama said that many countries would gladly trade places with America right now, even. (Like Somalia, and Libya, and Iraq.)

He said that our downgraded credit rating was due not to our inability “as a people” to pay our debts, but to our congressional and governmental silliness and failure to compromise, during the “debacle of the debt ceiling negotiations.”

 

(Let’s pause for a minute and be thankful for something. These days, since America’s lofty position and reputation and financial solvency is taking such a battery of hits, you will not find as many folks responding to your anti-nationalist or unpatriotic complaints with, “well then why don’t you just leave the country? Leave America!” This is because they can’t afford to be so smug any longer. They know you can easily reply with “What’s the point, people hate us so much they might kill me, or kidnap me? We’re in as bad a condition as Greece or Guatemala, practically speaking. The greedy elite are clearly running the planet and not just America anymore, anyway.” We at least have this satisfaction, as critics of America. I haven’t heard that sh*t in a while.)

The caucusing president says, if our elected representatives would just stop this childish squabbling, then we would not be downgraded and we would not be doubted in the world. He says we’ve got the best scientists and innovators and small business-people in the world. It’s just that they have nothing to do with government.

I am personally glad that the president is roaming the solar plexus of the land in his well-armored Dark Knight Bus, because it radiates security and readiness in a time of uncertainty.