So, you’ve got Moses, the Lord, a bunch of Israelites – all gathered around Peter’s radio set, tickets in hand, muttering their number groupings to themselves, waiting for the sports segment to wrap and for the lottery numbers to be called. A short commercial comes on for “Lazarus’ Second Chance Thrift Shop”, and everyone’s like, “Ah man, come on, this guy again?!”, followed by “And now today’s numbers”…

Aaaand, no one wins. Right, so the biblical lottery wasn’t exactly like ours today, but it has been said numerously that Moses was instructed to take a survey of the people, and then portion out land to them by their “lot”. Do I have a reliable source for this? No. But that’s a lottery, right??

The “Lottery” has existed for millennia – with historical traces throughout the bible and ancient Rome. Believe it or not, it’s been said that the French were the first to develop a lottery that would resemble ours today, with public lotteries awarding money prizes. It’s said that the first form of lottery was a variation on keno, played in ancient China.

The lottery has existed longer than religion has. The lottery has existed longer than “AD” has been termed. The lottery has existed longer than … Jesus? Yeah, I don’t really know. But, for all us red blooded Americans, who love to play the numbers, it’s nice to know that this beautiful pastime is a global tradition. All hands join together around the globe. Just don’t drop your numbers.

So, the next time the people who own cars at the gas station judge you for holding up the line for 15 minutes to check your pocketful of losing tickets – you just let them know that you don’t have a gambling “addiction”. You tell them that you’re embracing a global culture of unified tradition, and practicing a biblical pastime. You’re not a gambler, you’re a torch bearer – keeping the ancient flames of placing random bets on cash prizes alive.