Things90sKidsRealize – Realization #22 – Uncle Phil Is Shredder. Shredder’s voice on the animated series should sound familiar because it’s actually Judge Phillip Banks. If you watched both the Fresh Prince & Ninja Turtles  and you never realized this, you are NOT alone!  Just now discovering that Uncle Phil is the diabolical Shredder is what I’d imagine finding out at 22 that you’ve been adopted your whole life is like. Bad comparison, huh? Yeah, finding out you’re adopted wouldn’t be half as riveting.

See I told you so. Now we can die happy men. Truth be told. This is mind altering for me. Like, I think this is top of my list of earth shattering childhood revelations. Yup, right next to getting 99 free guys using the Kanomi Code in Metroid (up, down, left, right, A, B, start, select) if you are still playing the original Nintendo.

For real though. What other fucked up things happened in my childhood that I’m just figuring out now? Did some research and this is what I found out.

1) Steve Urkel was the voice of the cartoon, Sonic The Hedgehog

2.) Barney was a black guy. This sounds horribly racist but Barney being black just made the show that more creepy.

3.) Alanis Morrisette blew Uncle Joey Gladstones man hammer in a movie theater.

4.) Mork and Mindy was a spin-off of Happy Days. Wait, what? I don’t see it.

5.) Painter Bob Ross never liked his fro.  He did it to sell his artist products because he never took one pay check for his painting show. I’m going to Hell for this one.

6.) Space Jam had a scene reference to Pulp Fiction.

7.) Princess toadstool was a needy bitch. I mean come on lady, why you always getting rescued and then runnin away again.

8.) If you can win Mario Cart after consuming alcohol, you should be the one driving you and your friends home.  It was a good sobriety tester.

9.) The Magic School Bus cartoon was geared towards getting kids hooked on music and weed. It was formed by members of the original “Merry Pranksters” a 60’s hippie cult group that traveled the US spreading Tim Learys beliefs.

10.) The Easy Bake Oven was completely and politically chauvinistic to boys who wanted to become a Chef some day. They only placed them in the girls section of the toy store due to parents concerns.  Chef’s not havin that.

Authors note:  I’m not even surprised that Alanis sucked off Uncle Joey and got caught. “You Oughta Know,” was clearly written post breakup of the two. No one in Hollywood can even pick a booger without being on Entertainment Tonight back in the day…