OMG…Mark Zuckerberg, seen here calling his blow dealer at the onset of the assault, was attacked by an Asian bag lady while walking in Soho today. Fortunately for the master and commander of the world’s largest social network, he was able to escape the incident without harm. When reached for comment, Zuckerberg had this to say “luckily for me, she didn’t know karate, so I was able to duck and run.” This poses as good news for the Internet mogul, who surely wants to keep his money maker fresh, as there may be plans in the works for the next big screen blockbuster, and rumor has it it’s a love story about his first gay experience with Tom from  Myspace…

prma