Former New York Mets star Lenny Dykstra trashed an upscale hotel in the Hamptons, smoked copious amounts of weed while he was there and stole bedsheets, towels and a pair of sunglasses that belonged to the receptionist, Zach Erdem, who owns the property, claims.

Dykstra is denying all of it.

It’s hard to refute the part about the sunglasses, though. It was caught by a surveillance camera, and Erdem posted the video on Instragram.

All this happened, allegedly, at the Hotel ZE in Southampton, where rooms cost as much as $1,500 a night and where Dykstra checked in Friday night accompanied by a young brunette, according to The New York Post’s Page Six.

Other guests of the hotel complained about the noise and the smell of weed emanating from Dykstra’s room, and Erdem said the ex-ballplayer kept ordering unreasonable numbers of towels and buckets of ice.

Then things got really weird.

“You could smell the marijuana throughout the hotel,” Erdem said, per The Post. “. . . They were ordering a big bucket of ice and extra towels every few hours. At 3 a.m. Lenny called down, and my brother went to the room, knocked, and he was invited in by the girl who was fully naked.”

We’re not sure what’s wrong with that!

The hotelier added, “When Lenny left, there were open bottles of vodka and Jack Daniel’s, stuff everywhere. The cleaner saw (drug baggies), she said it was the worst room she has seen. He left a suitcase and a bag behind and a note to ship them to his home. But there were no sheets, pillowcases and towels left in the room.”

Erdem told the New York Daily News that he asked someone who knows Dykstra to open the bags, where he found a pipe, hand soap, shoes and a pile of hotel linens, some of which belonged to the hotel.

None of this is true, according to Dykstra.

“What? No! I didn’t steal anything,” Dykstra insisted in slurred speech, according to The Post. “The stuff is still at the hotel. There was no maid service, towels and sheets were piling up, so I put it all in a laundry bag for them. I did them a favor and they call it stealing? This is ridiculous. Was I doing drugs? Absolutely not.”

Nor did he steal the sunglasses or trash the room.

“It’s all lies,” he said.

In case more context is needed, Dykstra, who also played for the Phillies, hasn’t exactly been a poster boy of good behavior since he retired. He served six months in prison in 2012 for bankruptcy fraud, and his recently-released autobiography, “House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge,” details his crazy, drug-fueled exploits with the likes of Charlie Sheen, Jack Nicholson and Mickey Rourke.

As it stands now, Erdem is letting Nails slide – he told the Daily News he has no plans to press charges.