Cancer (Jun 23-Jul 22)

Happy Birthday, Cancer!

The next time somebody accuses you of being moody, tell them to shove it.  The moon is the orb you answer to, the mother of all emotions, so it’s really not your fault and besides it’s your birthday, dammit!  All the small B.S. that usually crops up to irritate you loses its power this month, paving the way for a smooth summer of fun.  Don’t be suprised to find yourself super-charged by the solar eclipse on the 11th-you’ll be full of urges, including the desire to reinvent yourself.  Treat yourself to a birthday makeover and follow your mood wherever it leads

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22) Come on, with your come ons; you don’t fight fair.  Leo, you are a smoothie, a romantic of kingly proportions and when you pour it on, your lovers purr like smitten kittens.  You might be inclined to overdo it this month, exerting your potency on the masses with your every word taking the form of an invitation to get horizontal.  Have fun, but don’t be stupid or you’ll end up with the kind of burning that can’t be cured with a cold shower.  

Virgo (Aug 22-Sept 22) As if you weren’t completely anal and OCD enough, Virgo, all the planets are lining up this month to put you on a freak cleaning streak.  Organization is the name of the game, likely the only game you’ll be inspired to play this month.  When you get in this tirade of creating extreme order, you tend to get bitchy and can neglect the people in your life, so be careful not to be so hell-bent on your Mr. Clean mission that you organize yourself right into a very tidy but very lonely summer.

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) Lucky for you, Libra, that serious Saturn is swooping into your sign this month giving you a push of some much needed energy since yours has all but washed away with a recent tidal wave of stress. This will help you mentally prepare for what lies ahead with a renewed sense of self.  More good news is that Saturn is camping out in your sign until the of  end of 2012, so this could mark the beginning of a brand new you but only if you make the most of it, and, of course,  if we all manage to live through the year of doom that 2012 is predicted to be.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 22) How bad do you want it, Scorpio?  You’ve been putting off something crucial to your overall success now for long enough.  Instead of pussy-footing around, get to the action already before you turn into a stagnant lump of repressed power resembling a dead battery.  Jupiter and Uranus will help you up the ante and start checking those goals off your list, so long as the list is based in the reality that you so love to ignore.  Stop wasting time and harness your keen insight to guide you through what could be a very rewarding season.

Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22) Rejection need not be a worry for you this month, Sag.  Set your sights high, as whatever you aim your arrow at will fall at your feet and be happy to be there.  Hopefully you’ve still got some friend slots left on your Facebook page because you’ll be making a lot of new ones and possibly rekindling with an old one.  Possibilities abound giving you the chance to shape-shift as you get to know each new personality.  There’s almost nothing as fun  for you as a little role-playing to celebrate the intense heat of the Summer Solstice so no need to go gently into that good night!

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 22) Grappling for control of a totally irrational situation will just leave you angry and dissatisfied. Your discipline gives you the ability to overcome your typical “what will people think” mentality and surrender to real healing without fear or regret.  Now that your eyes are open, you can dig into doing the work it will take to make things right in the world again and there is no crazier, maniacal workaholic than you, Capricorn.  Sweat it out now so you can enjoy the holidays.

Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22) Unpredictability is the name of the game this month, Aqua-babe.  There will be a parade of people entering your world as your social life gets jacked up on Jupiter’s penchant for excess.  You may end up frustrated since you will have barely a moment of privacy at all but the introductions to new people will pay off in the long run.  Your secret desire to be adored by all will have its ego thoroughly stroked this summer, but don’t let it go to either one of your heads if you’re a male Aquarian.  As for the ladies, curb any exertions of arrogance…nothing kills a good time quite as fast as your fat head.

Pisces (Feb 23-Mar 22) Uh-oh, Pisces.  Saturn is in the house!  More pointedly, he’s in your house of intimate partners and will be making himself comfortable there for the next two and a half years so get ready for words like ‘solid’ , ‘meaningful’ and ‘lasting’ to be paired with one of your favorite words, ‘relationship’.  Yikes.  Are those bells I hear in the distance announcing a wedding or  a funeral?  Saturn just might drive the final nail into the coffin of your usual cynicism about coupledom, making condolences and congratulation in order!

Aries (Mar 23-Apr 22) You’ve had your nose to the grindstone for several years now which comes as no surprise to anyone who knows how you tend to plod through projects with nary a sideways glance.  It is very likely the case that neglect and resentment have built up in your relationships and it’s time for you to take your work-blinders off and tune in to you partner.  You have an endless supply of energy, Aries, so take a break from all the heavy lifting and pour that energy into some steamy summer trysts with your lover.  If you’re a single Ram, start window shopping for a suitable partner to swing with.

Taurus (Apr 23-May 22) Your house of lovers is more full this month than Pam Anderson’s bra, Taurus, you old bull!  It’s going to be one hot and heavy summer for you but you have to remember to keep your sh*t straight.  You’re going to be pulled in a hundred directions by all the admirers clammoring for you and it will soon turn in to a ‘too many lovers, too little time’ nightmare scenario.  You’ll get off on how long the list of amours is, but pinpointing your favorites from the get-go will spare you a lot of headaches and jealous, tear-filled arguments later.

Gemini (May 23-Jun 22) It really makes people around you most irritated that no matter the state of the economy, you always end up falling ass-backwards into money.  You have always been a jack-of-all-trades, and now it’s really paying off.  This month sees an influx of odd jobs that will keep you in the black and free of financial worry.  Go ahead and indulge yourself with those home-improvement projects you’ve been saving for; you’ve earned it, but do try not to gloat about your good fortune; you are in no position to lose any friends with douchey behavior.prma