Thepoodleanddogblog – A Pennsylvania judge has denied Gary Matthew’s request to have his name officially changed to Boomer the Dog.

Matthews, a 44-year-old, single, unemployed (go figure) computer technician, often wears a dog collar and a shredded paper dog costume on walks around his neighborhood. Boomer the Dog was a dog character in a 1980s show “Here’s Boomer”. He attends conventions of people who enjoy dressing as animals and giving them human characteristics (OK, those sound like fun.)

The judge felt the name change might cause confusion. For example if he were to call in an emergency and respond to the dispatcher that he was Boomer the Dog, the dispatcher might decide the call was a hoax and not respond to the emergency.

Chances are that putting Boomer the Dog on a resume would not result in many job interviews either.

So this guy thinks he’s a dog, ehh? Hmmmm? I wonder what he thinks other people are? Like, does he go around trying to hump legs and shit? I love how he barks and then just gives that,”Hey what are you gonna do? I’m a dog” look.

“Sometimes I bark and, you know, I beg a little bit like that.” Haha. What. The. Fuck…? What is he beggin’ for? Don’t tell me this dude, man, boy, girl, (or whatever the hell he is) actually begs for treats?  Wow. He must go absolutely ape shit when he hears the Beggin’ Strips commercial, eh?

Unemployed computer tech, huh? You don’t say. I wonder why that is, Gary…? I mean Boomer. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because you showed up at some corporate office dressed in shredded documents? Maybe, that got them a little worked up. I don’t know. Seems like a personal attack against your civil liberties or something. You gotta be getting unemployment. Shit, my friend’s dog eats like 80 dollars in dog food a week. Not to mention all the people food he gets. Wow. Have wreck, man…

This is the face America. This is the face of the unemployment chaser: a crazy, long haired Quinton Tarantino looking girl-man. We pay for this shit…