WSAZ.com – KANAWHA COUNTY, W.Va. (WSAZ) — A man is behind bars for committing “lewd acts” with a mannequin in a public park Sunday morning.

According to the Kanawha County Sheriff’s Department, 61-year-old Eddie M. Campbell from Belle was caught at Booker T. Washington Memorial Park in Malden with his shirt off and his pants around his ankles. Deputies say Campbell was sitting on a park bench with an armless mannequin on his lap, holding it with one hand — pleasuring himself with the other.

When Deputy Middleton ordered Campbell to stop, Campbell replied, “Just trying to have a little fun.” Then proceeded to pull his pants up.

All of this happened in a residential area and close to a church, according to Deputies. Campbell has been charged with indecent exposure. He gave up his right to have an attorney represent him during arraignment.  The Kanawha County Sheriff’s Office says they “have yet to interview the mannequin, so they are unsure if it was picked up off the street or the two met for a date in the park, however the mannequin is now being held as evidence.”

Campbell is in the South Central Jail on a $2,500 cash only bond…

So let me get this straight. This guy was finger-bangin’ a one-armed mannequin with one hand and jackin’ off with the other? Doesn’t seem fair. You are doing all the work. She’s just sitting there, looking all uninterested showing no emotion while you have to take care of her and yourself. Where did you pick her up, Peebles? Man, next time you need a date, try Macy’s. I hear the mannequins there have all their limbs and some really hot friends. Well dressed too. Stylish…

prma