– A Florida masseur was arrested yesterday for allegedly sexually assaulting a 49-year-old female client in the midst of a $220 “Signature Stress Melter Ritual” at a Hyatt Regency hotel. Cops charge that Dayron Escobar, 24, was massaging the woman Friday when the sexual battery occurred at the hotel in Weston. Escobar began massaging the woman’s shoulders “and then worked his way down to her buttocks,” according to a Broward County Sheriff’s Office report. During the massage, “the suspect asked her if she wanted him to stop when she answered, ‘No, continue.’” After a few minutes, the woman told investigators, Escobar’s “fingers penetrated her vagina.” The woman said that she immediately “got up from the table bed,” whereupon Escobar placed “his mouth on her breast without her consent,” a deputy reported, adding, “She stated that as she stood up she observed that the defendant pants zipper was down and his penis was erected.” The alleged victim told investigators that Escobar told her, “I thought you wanted it. I’m sorry, do you want to take a bath or go to the sauna?” The woman immediately reported the incident at the Red Door Spa to hotel management, as Escobar “left the property shortly thereafter.” Escobar, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Broward County jail in lieu of $7500 bond. He had worked at the hotel spa for four years.

Now I’m no expert on getting massages. Shit, I’ve never received one professionally. But I am so ready to side with the masseuse on this one. This is actually one of the most preposterous cases I have seen on The Chronicle yet. Guy’s in jail on $7500 for what?  Look. You get the shoulders worked, then the lower back.  When they hit the top of your ass, they say, “Do you want me to stop, sweetie.?”  To which you answer yes or no.   If he’s rubbing your fucking buttcheeks together and you say “continue” you might as well take your panties off and hand him a rubber because game the fuck on!  Everyone knows that.  I know that and I don’t even get massages.

Like what exactly did you think “Stress Melter Ritual” meant?  Did you notice it was $220 fuckin bucks?  Did you notice the going rate on an hour with a hooker?  You walk in to a $220 Stress Melter Ritual you know you’re getting banged and you’re getting banged hard.  Bottom line.   In the massage world it’s kind of like no means yes, and yes means finger in the vag.

For the record. The girl had to be a smokeshow. A fat girl would have taken his hand and put it in the vag, herself.