I love my son sooooo much, I would smuggle heroin up my ass for that boy!


Two idiots, a father and son, hatched a plan over a monitored telephone at a Colorado prison. Donald Denney, a California man traveled to a federal lockup in Colorado and sought to smuggle his son a golf ball-sized chunk of black tar heroin that he had wrapped in plastic and stashed up his a**.  

Denney, 56, was arrested at the federal prison in Florence, Colorado, where his son is serving a seven year sentence for bank robbery.  

Although it is well-known that telephone conversations at federal prisons are recorded, Denney and his incarcerated son, also named Donald, concocted the smuggling plan in a series of calls over the summer. Initially, the heroin was to be brought into the prison by a female accomplice who was going to transfer the drugs to Donald through an open mouthed kiss. That plan was nixed when the Denneys were unable to locate a “woman” with a clean record whose visit would be approved by prison officials.  

As a result, Papa Denney was pressed into being the mule.  

According to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Harry Deal, Denney told his son he would drive to Colorado with the “you know what somewhere in the car,” then transfer it “from my mouth to yours” by kissing his son during a visit (that wouldn’t look too weird. F*ckin’ making out with your son in a prison family visiting room). Denney Jr. was then prepared to swallow the heroin, pass it through his system at a later point, and then market the drug to fellow inmates. The Denneys were expecting to make $22,000 from the prospective sale of the drugs.  

But when Denney arrived to visit his son late Friday afternoon, he was intercepted by FBI agents carrying a warrant authorizing a full-body inspection of the smuggling suspect. During a strip search, federal agents spotted “a plastic wrapper protruding from Denney’s anus.” Denney subsequently removed the black tar heroin, which was sealed in “Saran wrap-type” plastic and had been placed inside the severed finger of a Latex glove. In an interview with agents, he confessed to the smuggling scheme and implicated his son in the plot.  

Denney, whose rap sheet includes a felony drug conviction, was arrested by FBI agents and charged with possessing heroin with intent to distribute: a felony. His son has not been charged, yet, in connection with the alleged smuggling conspiracy.  

Treez : How sweet the bond between this father and son. I couldn’t get my Dad to even f*ckin’ play catch with me, and this Dad stuffed some tar up his arse for his little boy!! I’m tearing up. The sad part is that the plan could have moved forward to the awkward make out if they weren’t cut off at the chase for talking about it over tapped phones. Stupid Rednecks, man!