From the files of, “who wants to murder the president and eat his flesh”, comes this joyful tale of a man who wants to cook up the leader of the free world and eat him like a Christmas goose.

Gregory Dale Brockman, 32, has had a lot of free time lately and hasn’t been using it very wisely. You see, the Pennsylvania career criminal has been writing little love notes to Mr. Obama telling him that he would like nothing more than to kill and eat him. Secret Service agents go on to state that the hungry Brockman is upset about our troops being in Iraq and has also sent menacing letters to First Lady Michelle Obama and former President George W. Bush.

The President of the Jeffery Dahmer fan club says he that really admires serial killers and vowed to act on his promises when released. He pleaded not guilty to the charges and remains behind bars where he sorely belongs. I guess those prison bologna sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner just aren’t cutting it anymore.