For years and years doctors have been telling us to watch what we eat, drink, and put into our bodies.  Whether it be alcohol, sweets, or drugs we  have had it drilled into our skulls to stay away from these items for fear of having a negative effect on us physically.  Well thanks to the good people at these days are over South Florida.  Go ahead and grab a beer, twist one up, and bust out the snacks because we’re going to take a look at the top ten bad things that are actually good for you. (In moderation of course) 10. BEER- Ahhhh yes, good ol’ beer made the list.  While it has always been considered that a glass of red wine a day is good for the heart it looks like normal Joe’s like you and me are in luck.  I don’t drink wine, just not for me.  But beer on ther other hand, I’ve been known to put back a few of those in my day.  Moderate beer consumption has now shown to actually improve cardiovascular function.  While your eyes won’t be thanking you when you roll over and see the gargoyle next to you in your bed, don’t worry, your heart will.  As of today there is still no cure for beer googles.

9. Anger- Yell, scream, break something if you have to.  Studies have shown that instead of keeping that pent up rage inside of you it’s beneficial to your physical well being to go ahead and just let it out.  Short bursts of anger can relieve that stress in the given moment instead of holding the feeling in which could potentially result in high blood pressure, sleeping disorders, and lung disease.  Next time someone or something gets on your nerves unleash the fury on them.  They might not like it but you’re doing your body a favor.

8. Coffee- Who among us doesn’t need that caffine laced energy burst before work to get things going for the day.  Most of us drink coffee for this reason alone but those days are over.  That morning cup of Folger’s also contains antioxidents important in the prevention of diabetes.  Coffee beans can also slow cirrhosis of the liver as well as pancreatitis.  Balance out that bender from the evening before with a steaming cup of java and keep that liver fresh for next time.

7. LSD- You ever wonder why you still see so many damn dirty hippies all over the place?  You guessed it, acid.  While LSD doesn’t really prevent any diseases it has been effective in small doses while treating alcoholism and related relapses.  Anyone who has ever done LSD will tell you that they feel like a different person the next day and this could be the reason for alcoholics swearing of the stuff.  So if you happen to have a drinking problem its time to put that drink down, take a couple doses, and trip face until you are cured.  Just make sure you stay out of the bathroom and away from mirrors, they could really freak you out.

6.  Sunlight- Yes all of us in South Florida know that prolonged exposure to the sun may cause cancer and leave you looking like a piece of shoe leather.  What we don’t know is that studies in mice have had positive results in supressing symptoms related to asthma.  With human study on the horizon, it appears that sunshine is here to help us.  It also serves as a mood booster when we are feeling a little down.  We are all more productive when the  sun is shinning instead of grey and rainy.  Get out of the house, soak up some rays, and put a smile on that face.

5.  Maggots- Of course maggots are good for you!  These cute, cuddly little pleasures are not only adorable, but were approved by the FDA in 2003 as the only live medical device.  While it looks like maggots are just squirming around for no rhyme or reason they are actually feeding on bacteria and dead tissue all the while speeding up the healing process.  So if you’re standing by a pile of trash filled with these creepy crawlers and you notice a cut on your body, feel free to slap some of those puppies on  and heal away!

4.  Marijuana- Everybody’s favorite herb comes to us at the four spot.  While weed remains illegal in most states, others have finally given in to the medicinal properties that sweet lady Mary Jane possesses.  Most commonly known for treatment regarding glaucoma and arthritis, marijuana has now been linked to preventing the clumping of brain proteins which is one of the major causes of the disease known as Alzheimer’s.   Wait a minute.  What was I talking about again?  (Takes a quick bong rip).  Oh that’s right.  Pot is good for you, smoke it up.

3.  Red Wine- For all of our aristicrats out there this alcoholic beverage is for you.  Red wine has long been known to help lessen the chance of cancer as well as having artery protecting benefits.  The skin of red wine grapes contain an antioxident called resveratrol which can also contribute to greater endurance, Alzheimer’s prevention, and a reduction in gum disease.  If a glass a day is supposed to be good for than I say why stop there.  Raise your glasses, order another bottle and live well into your hundreds.  Bottoms up.

2.  Chocolate- This one is for you ladies.  The myth about chocolate being bad for you is clearly because of all of the sugar mixed in with all of your favorite candy bars.  Cocca by itself  can help ward off certain kinds of cancers as well as keeping your arteries clear due to the antioxident flavonals which it contains.  So listen up guys, no need to go all out with flowers and jewelry when all that you have to do is get that special lady in your life a box of chocolates.  Not only are you helping her health, but it’s going to help you get more of number one on our list.

1.  Sex- Sex has always been the right kind of wrong for everybody.  Aside fom all of the pleasure a good roll in the hay can give a person, sex has been linked to improved circulation, reduction of stress, as well as lowering your cholesteral.  It can burn calories by working up a nice, solid sweat and it’s just so much damn fun to do.  Next time you’re at the bar picking up that most recent piece of ass remember to let your soon-to-be bedmate know that while the attraction is mutual you really are concerned about her health and will do anything to keep her safe.  Works everytime!