Bwaah?! You can Prime beer now? Yes, if you live exclusively in central Ohio.
The Columbus Dispatch reports that the “Seattle-based online retailer is adding beer and wine to its Prime Now service in central Ohio and in Cincinnati”.
Says Stephanie Landry, VP of Amazon Prime Now, “We are excited to continue expanding our product offerings, and we know customers will love getting wine and beer delivered right to their door in one hour or less”.
So…just… give me a minute here. This is AMAZON, the most reputable goods delivery forum on the planet, and they’ve begun offering beer for sale and expedited delivery through their Prime Now extension. Does this sound real, reader. This is like being back in Hoboken and Ipalito’s Pizza would bring a suitcase of Busch’s from the packy next door if you knew how to ask them right. Yeah, this is like Ipalito’s… except it’s AMAZON. Delivering beer.
For all you rubes, “Prime Now” is a localized division of Amazon’s Prime service. According to the Dispatch, “(Prime Now) is run out of small warehouses separate from its massive order-fulfillment centers”. This means that in select cities, Prime Now offers a turn-around delivery timeframe of two hours.
From local restaurants, to local markets – Prime Now offers the apex in an on-demand delivery service. Their restaurant delivery feature is currently operational in over two-dozen major cities across the country. The grocery portion is available for folks in the following: Chicago, Dallas, LA, Manhattan, Minneapolis, Portland, SD, SF, and Seattle.
Seriously though, if I’m in central Ohio right now, I am Prime Nowing the cuss out of all the beer. All of it. Sporadically ordered in increments, allowing the “Now” service to deliver beer in a consistent and often fashion. They’re gonna run out of beer in Ohio. You watch. Wow, what an age we live in…